My longtime account with all my personal design work in it decided to ask me for verification. Except it sends that confirmation email to an old Gmail account I had ages ago when I set Dropbox up. I go to see if I can still sign into that Gmail account, and in the middle of that effort Gmail sends me a notice that says they just detected suspicious activity on my account (me trying to sign in), decides to ask for verification, and sends that confirmation email to an old Yahoo account that hasn't existed since 2003. I can provide legal ID, I can pay for an account if Dropbox will merge my old free 5GB one into a new one, I can verify my directory structure and files if it helps, I can show my shared folders with my dad and do all kinds of stuff to prove I am who I say I am. I go through Dropbox, Gmail, and Yahoo's recovery processes and guess what, they're all minimally written bots that have no ability to deal with anything, and there appear to be no humans left in any of these organizations.
I am stuck in the plot of the movie Brazil. Doesn't exactly make me think a paid account will be worth spending money on.